Whether you knew this emotional shift was coming, or you were blindsided by it thinking you had your lives together, retirement brings a whole set of new emotions and issues.

For some people, you’ve looked forward to it and the RV is parked in the driveway ready to go, but you are blocked by depression, anger, and a relationship that isn’t as strong as you thought.

After years of working tirelessly to protect their communities, retired firefighters and their families have another big adjustment period to go through.

It’s common to be blindsided, and then disappointed and grieve what you thought was the light at the end of the tunnel.
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 If you feel overwhelmed with depression, anxiety, or addictions, go here for immediate support. 
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 Start now with our Retire Well guide. 
Are you at the end of your rope watching your firefighter sleep on the couch all day after every shift, only to find energy again to reset their gear and head back for the next shift day?

This is not normal sleepless night fire life.  This could be depression, anxiety, PTS, or a combination of mental health challenges.

In the meantime, you are now 24/7 holding down the fort at home and honestly, all you want is to have your husband’s joy and energy back.

Sleeping all day is a big obvious sign but there are many small signs that depression is trying to take over.

This is treatable.  While you want to help so much, it’s important to realize you can’t do this alone and your firefighter needs to engage in the healing journey.
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 Learn about depression in firefighters from the only behavioral health organization in North America that specializes in first responders. 
If your husband has just been diagnosed with PTS, you’re probably a little (or a lot) scared and worried.

You’ve watched your husband struggling with anger, depression, anxiety, and a multitude of other symptoms, and now finally he has an official diagnosis.

It's natural to feel frightened, helpless, or even guilty about your husband's condition. You may feel relieved to finally have the words to put to your husband's condition, or you could be more frightened than ever.

Along with the wide range of emotions, you are probably wondering, “What now?”

Not only for the next steps for your husband, but you may also be thinking, “What about me?”
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 If you are in need of immediate support for you or your husband, please call 1-888-747-5049 or visit Crisis Request Form and we will quickly connect with you about resources available to you. 
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How do you feel when you hear this phrase? :

“If you've noticed signs of needing professional help in your marriage, your mental health, or general stressors, it's time to reach out to your partner and talk about therapy options.”

Does this sentence make you uneasy? Do you agree? Does your partner?

Does your husband claim he doesn’t need therapy, or refuse to go altogether?

While your husband may seem strong and unshakable, there may be times when even he needs help processing the emotional toll of his job.

But what happens when one partner wants to go to counseling, but the other refuses?

Convincing your husband to seek therapy is a challenging task.

The unfortunate (and untrue) stigma around therapy being a sign of weakness is hyper-present in the (borderline toxic) masculine environment surrounding first responders.

 It's important to remember that seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness; in fact, it's a sign of strength and willingness to improve mental and emotional well-being.

It's completely normal to feel hesitant about therapy, and it's understandable to have fears and uncertainties. However, it's crucial to recognize that therapy provides the tools to help cope with the challenging experiences firefighters endure daily.
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 Take the first step today by visiting our Firefighter Wife help page where you will find resources for all your questions, as well as a link to our crisis support request form. 
If you’ve ever considered approaching your husband about his drinking habits, then this is for you.

If he comes home only to immediately pour himself a drink, or he is especially secretive about his drinking habits, the alarm bells in your head may be going off.

It may feel easier just to brush it off as nothing, or to convince yourself that his behavior is normal. After all, in our world surrounded by drinking culture,  alcohol use (and abuse) can seem normal.

However, you know your partner better than anyone. If you are seeing signs that concern you, then it’s time to seek help.
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We're here for you and your husband, and we offer a range of specialized treatment options and resources for firefighters struggling with alcohol abuse.
There is no one size fits all marriage. Each and every single marriage has its differences, its successes, and its struggles.

Some struggles can be too hard to share. For men and women alike, sharing that their marriage has little to no sex life can feel too heavy. Not talking to each other about it makes it that much heavier and leaves too much room for speculation.

Intimacy is a crucial part of any strong relationship, and even more so during tough times - but when your partner's job demands so much time and energy, it can feel impossible to maintain a stable sex life.

Building intimacy is a journey, and it takes time and effort - and there are so many reasons why your spouse may not be interested in having sex and most of these reasons can be helped or reversed.

This is a hard topic to talk about, but you don’t have to do it alone.
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Fill out our counselor request form and a member of our team will quickly reach out and work with you to connect you with a professional therapist who specializes in treating firefighters and their families.
The demanding schedule of your husband's job can take a toll on your family's routine - It can be challenging to always adapt when your spouse is away for long periods of time.
And it doesn’t help that when scrolling through Instagram all you seem to see are picture-perfect fire wives who have “no problem” managing the hectic schedule of their fire families.

Surrounded by these images of perfect families, you probably are asking yourself, “How do they do it?”

Chances are, things aren’t as faultless as they seem.

All fire wives struggle (or have struggled) with managing the chaotic schedule of their homes around the inconsistent hours of the station.

While it feels isolating at times, you are not alone in these struggles.
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Hear from our panel of expert therapists (who are fire wives themselves) as we ask them the specific questions all fire wives want to ask.
Does the stress level of your household seem to depend on the mood of your firefighter when he walks through the door?

You may feel hesitant to respond or be excessively mindful of your actions around your partner - If you feel constantly on edge, tip-toeing around your husbands' emotions after a shift, you are not alone.

While this is definitely not normal (and nowhere near healthy in a relationship) it is all too common in fire family households.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship dynamic, remember that seeking therapy isn't something to be ashamed of.

If you’re unsure whether your relationship dynamics fall into this category, it may be time to check-in with yourself and your relationship.
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Start here with our self-check in to begin the evaluation of your own emotional state, as well as the dynamics of your relationship.
Get Unstuck
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DON'T DO IT ALONE

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Get Unstuck
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DON'T DO IT ALONE

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Or Call

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